


It must be fate

by mintcoloredeye



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25048147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintcoloredeye/pseuds/mintcoloredeye
Summary: Kris and Tao got casted in a BL drama despite being exes. Tao has moved on and already has a new boyfriend but Kris is determined to salvage whatever was left from their past.
Relationships: Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Wu Yi Fan | Kris
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1. Inevitable mishap

Kris and Tao got casted in a BL drama despite being exes. Tao has moved on and already has a new boyfriend but Kris is determined to salvage whatever was left from their past.

xxx

"This is horrible, Luhan", Zitao complained in his phone, talking to the only person he can confide to about Kris, "I didn't know that Yifan would be casted in the same movie!" He stroke his own hair in frustration, having just received the news from the drama agency.

Luhan chuckled- not at all taking Tao's problem seriously, Tao can hear the sound of Luhan sucking the remnants of his favorite bubble tea, before saying, "Don't you think this might be fate? You were friends first before you were exes, I remember you guys being inseparable during EXO times. Maybe it's time to patch things up instead of avoiding him like some kind of a plague."

"Did he tell you about this?" Tao demanded suspiciously, sometimes Luhan can be too meddling. After all, the only thread left connecting them both is their mutual friend, Luhan, as sad as that sounds. 

"He might or might not tell me about this." Luhan said, a little bit of teasing and glee evident from his tone. "But, Tao - have you read the script for the drama?"

"Not yet, but my manager gave me an okay and said he thinks that he is sure that the drama would be a hit. I was too busy and just okayed it - delegation, you know." 

Despite being the CEO of his own company, Tao is a bit laissez faire in his management, preferring to show trust in his subordinate's judgment. "and... fuck, I've also signed the contract for the filming. It's impossible to back out now because that would give me a lot of bad rep to the big names involved." 

"Lu-ge..." Tao now assumed a pitiful whining tone he knew Luhan is practically immune against, "What should I do now..."

"It's alright." Luhan said, "How bad can it be, really. Maybe your characters are love rivals and you literally do not have to act to show the animosity and hatred."

"Yeah, right." Tao mentioned sarcastically, before pausing thoughtfully. He then continued in a smaller voice, "But, you know... I just don't want to go back to that place, it's horrible. And the last thing I want is to have an emotional breakdown on set. I like to say I have completely moved on, but to see him romance another woman in front of my eyes... it's hard to watch still, Lu-ge."

"I know it's hard," Luhan said soothingly, having been the one witnessing Tao's breakdown in his apartment after their messy breakup. "You have been avoiding everything related to Kris ever since, his usual hangouts, his movies, but do you still remember that all we all have left is one another? You can't say it hasn't been hard on Kris either.."

"Serves him right." Tao said childishly, but a part of him recognizes Luhan's point. They all know that Kris doesn't have a lot of close friends despite being very popular or people he really trust. After they leave EXO, it's hard to trust anybody and they all know that the only people who really understand their hardship back then is one another. Before everything happened, they were best friends joined in hip and Tao would be lying if he said he didn't miss Kris at all. 

"Well, anyway, it's happening so you should brace yourself for it. I bet your CP fans would be overjoyed though. I remember how crazy they were back then." Luhan seemed to find the situation amusing. "I can already picture the movie being a crazy hit."

"Yeah, right. The last thing I need is a stupid scandal hanging over my head."

"Play nice, Tao. At least don't hit him." Luhan said, laughing. 

"I won't promise that. But, thanks for listening, Lu-ge." Tao said gratefully.

xxx

When Tao received the script from his manager, all color practically drained from his face. In an instant, he quickly whipped his head from the script to look in horror at his manager, who is still smiling in a content and oblivious manner. From what he heard yesterday, he knew it would be a romance story and that the character that he will be playing will be a rich playboy in an ancient setting, but he didn't know that he would end up falling in love with the strait-laced son of a minister. 

"What the fuck is this?" Tao shouted, horrified. 

The manager cowed in fear, and immediately responded. "I-I thought you wouldn't mind playing a gay character since you have done so before. And due to censorship, the romantic scene would be toned down and would be adapted to a deep friendship laced with intense camaraderie instead." 

"You did not mention that the other actor would be Wu Yifan!" 

"They did not tell me either, they only told me it would be someone you knew very well and will feel comfortable acting with and that he also has a popularity rivalling yours that would make it a hit never seen before." 

"Fuck. Like hell I would feel comfortable acting with him."

"B-but, boss, there would be no kiss scene so-"

"You'll be dead if there's a kiss scene!" Tao yelled. Stroking his hair in frustration, he sighed. "Well, shit has gone down so we cannot do anything about it." 

"At least, your CP fans are still a huge fanbase on itself, boss. And you have made up with him since the last award show, right?" The manager said, still wanting to ensure that he gets the bonus at the end of the year.

Tao immediately went away after banging the door. 

'Well,' the manager thought pitifully, 'that didn't end well.'

xxx


	2. Conflicts

Tao did not know how to break the news to his boyfriend, really. Their relationship is still quite new and they are still in the middle of getting to know each other. But Yanlin has been with him through thick and thin and has been very supportive to Tao after his break-up with Kris. He had gotten to know Yanlin during the recording of the Protectors, his show for environmental awareness. While they also have their ups and downs and clashes of personalities during the trip, Tao knows that Yanlin is a good guy and has grown to learn to love him. Tao knows that he could be hard to handle at times, and Yanlin is nowhere as patient as Kris was back then with his childish antics and mood swings- but they somehow made it work. 

Instead of the old dynamics with Kris where he is relegated to the position of the younger in their relationship and a submissive position, Yanlin who is also about Kris' age had openly quibbled with him like a same-age child and refuses to give in. Somehow, Tao felt as if he was more of an equal in the relationship and at least in this relationship, there were no feelings of betrayal and anger involved. There were too much memories involved in his relationship with Kris, both the good and bad ones, Kris had been the one who had witnessed the best and worst parts of Tao and the highest and lowest points in his life. Even Tao had realised that their relationship was extremely unhealthy and toxic to the point that it has become a competition of who can hurt the other more. All he wanted was the simple kind of love, filled with fun and laughter.

But, Kris is now part of the past and shouldn't matter. He called Yanlin as per their usual ritual during the night. No matter how busy they are, they should always call each other during the night, even if it's just a short 10 minutes call. That's how they cope with Tao's extremely busy schedule. 

"Hey." Yanlin said, answering the call. His voice sounded a bit sleepy. 

"Hey to yourself." Tao joked, "Why do you sound so sleepy?" 

"Just had a short nap while waiting for you to call. My dog is nestling right beside me, instead of you. How are you today?"

"Great." Tao said lightly, "So I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?"

"Whichever, I bet the good news is that you got a new bearbrick collection or something." Yanlin said, laughing.

His boyfriend really knows him too well- Tao thought. "You're really no fun, Wang Yanlin. So, about the bad news - you see..."

Yanlin perked up a bit at the serious tone his boyfriend is assuming, and asked softly, "Is everything okay, Tao?" He knew something was wrong. 

"I did tell you I'm going to start filming a drama this month right.. Well, it turns out that I've been really dumb and haven't checked what the drama is about and..."

Yanlin had heard Tao talk about a drama before yesterday and how he is somewhat excited to film another historical drama. "What about the drama? Is there any sex scenes?" Yanlin is alright with Tao having sex scenes, but he knew how awkward the boy felt about having to fake it on set in front of so many people. His boyfriend has always been secretly shy, after all. 

"N-no!" Tao said, he had sworn off sex scenes after his movie the Edge of Innocence. The whole scene was too intimate and awkward to him to film and he had vowed off sex scenes after then. That scene had required a lot of tequilla and sloshing, after all. "It's about the other main lead... It's Kris."

Kris was a familiar name to Yanlin's ears, even if he had never met the other guy personally. It was hard to begin with to live in China and not to hear the name of Kris Wu, who regularly appears in popular variety shows and who had his face plastered in all the high-class brands and his songs played even in department stores. He must be living under a rock if he had never heard of Kris Wu, he had even heard of the disputes between Tao and Kris before he even met Tao personally, with all the messy fiasco of Tao asking for Kris' forgiveness in front of national TV.

But, his name has gained a different meaning once he got to meet Tao and became his boyfriend. During the Protectors, Tao had been heartbroken over his breakup with Kris, sniffling and crying in the middle of the night secretly during their trip to Iceland. Apparently, they had gotten together again after the public reunion in some award show, only to break up after Kris cheated. Yanlin knew how badly Kris had fucked Tao up and his heart always bounced with a furtive jealousy whenever he heard Tao mentioned his name in his sleep, feverishly and with a so much pain. He had somehow accepted that Kris would always be a part of Tao's past, but he also knew that they cannot get a good relationship without Tao fully moving on from Kris. 

"Yanlin?" Tao asked, noting that Yanlin had remained thoughtfully silent. A hint of fear tinged his voice. 

"It's okay, Tao." Yanlin said comfortingly after a short pause, knowing that Tao has mentioned this as a courtesy to him, to ask for permission in a roundabout way. "Maybe it's a good chance for you to fully move on from him, Tao. I'm alright if you two would be friends or something."

"I love you for being so understanding!" Tao chirped, appreciating it because he knows that Yanlin is also a bit reluctant to see his boyfriend with his ex. Kris would never be as understanding as Yanlin and had pretty much hated all Tao's friends except for Luhan. He had never been accepting of Tao's affectionate behavior. "You're the best, Yanlin!" He cooed happily. 

"I know, and you better be thankful for that." Yanlin teased, "so what kind of drama is it?"

"Well..." Tao hesitated, knowing that it would be another hard point to break, "It's actually an adaptation of a BL drama... But, it's all toned down, my manager will make sure of that! No worries. The only one I love right now is you, Yanlin, I promise."

"All I can say is that I trust you, Tao." Yanlin said- but with less conviction than before, "I trust you not to make the second mistake twice."

"I know, I love you."

"Me too."

xxx

-Flashback-

"Ge.." Tao whined, gripping the other's jacket with his best aegyo expression. He did the best impression of his puppy dog eyes, eager to get the attention of his crush who is in the middle of cooking ramen in the middle of the night. 

"What is it, Tao-er?" Kris asked back, his tone laced with obvious fondness of the younger, but his eyes is still fixed at the boiling pot. Tao has woken him up to accompany him to the bathroom as per usual and has complained of midnight hunger. As per their usual routine, Kris had taken some instant noodles and heats up the water in the pot before putting the dried noodles in. Tao likes his noodles crunchy and not too soggy, so he had to pay attention to the boiling ramen.

Tao hugged his waist from the back, snuggling into it and taking in his scent. "I'm sorry to wake you up.. I know you're tired.." He whispered, feeling a bit guilty for making Kris lose his sleeping time, but also happy that he got to spend some alone time with the elder. 

"I don't mind." Kris said, "I'm used to spoiling you too much." Tao giggled at that, and Kris wondered what makes him so weak towards the youngest in their sub-group. 

Thinking that the ramen is already perfectly boiled, Kris poured out the excess water like an expert and transported the noodles to a clean bowl. He then put all the sauce and seasoning to the noodles and stirred them before putting a mug of hot water. Tao looked delighted at the prospect of eating a hot noodle in the middle of the night. 

"We need to keep it secret from the manager, okay? There's an ideal weight to maintain and ramen is definitely not in SM's list of recommended midnight diet."

"No worries, ge. We can just cycle the excessive weight as per usual." Tao smiled impishly. "You are the best, really. This noodle looks amazing." Tao gazed at him with shining eyes and Kris cannot help but feel elated, even though boiling a noodle is a feat that even a kid can do. 

"Do I get a reward for making you noodles, Tao?" Kris asked, smiling at the boy who is already about to ready his chopsticks and dig in to the noodle soup. He looked up at Kris with a mouthful of noodles, before grinning happily. 

"I can give you anything, ge. Anything you want that I can give." He chirped innocently, slurping his soup with gusto. "I will even share my allowance money with you."

"Stupid Tao, I don't want money." Kris said, laughing softly. 

"Then I can make sure to give extra praise for you whenever any interviewers asked me what I think of you." Tao said proudly, thinking that Kris would be hyped with his imagined idea of a great reward. "You will get a reputation boost as an awesome leader, which you already get, of course. But, I will make even Suho-hyung jealous." 

"Hm, you said you're going to give me anything right?" Kris mentioned, a serious glint in his eyes which Tao did not notice. "That might come in handy in the future, so I will ask for a suspended reward."

"But that's not fair," Tao said, looking up at Kris, "What if... what if... you ask something that I might not be able to do in the future?"

"I will ask of something that you surely can give, Tao." Kris said with a smile while pinching the younger's cheek, earning a childish frown from him. "I'm not that mean." 

"Yes, you're the best gege I can ask for in this whole entire world." Tao acquiesced, "I will forever be on your side!" 

xxx

It has been months since Tao last saw Kris, and a lot of thoughts swirled through his head. Did Kris know what he is signing up for? Did he also sign up for the drama without knowing what it is about and who he is playing against? He did not know what to think and his head became even dizzier the more he thinks about it. He had blocked Kris' number after they broke up - despite agreeing to an amicable breakup without any ill feelings, he insisted that it is necessary to give them space after they broke up. They had both acknowledged their mistakes which had contributed in the breakup, but it doesn't mean it has hurt less. And it's all meant to be, after all. Theirs is not a relationship that can last forever, but one with a time-limit and an expiration date. 

He is heading to the discussion room to discuss the filming details with the producer and the screenwriter. 

Tao had made sure to head off the earliest to the discussion room, ever since that scandal where he was late for an interview, he made sure that he is always ten minutes ahead for every appointment. 

Opening the door, he was faced with the person he least wanted to meet. It's Kris, sitting at the chair at the corner of the room, playing his phone. He hates how his heart is still leaping in somersaults whenever he sees Kris, and how the heat instantly creeps onto his neck and onto his ears, flushing him like a ripe tomato. This has happened even when they are dating and amuses Kris to no end. Your body is just built to be attracted to me, Kris had teased.

Kris had looked up and Tao held his breath- he almost forgot what it felt like to have that intense pool of blacks baring at his soul, making him feel so vulnerable and stripped of everything. He immediately looked away once he realised what is happening and took the seat at the farthest end of the table and fixed his gaze at his phone. He didn't even bother with pleasantries, not with Kris, there was no need for that.

He could feel the heat of Kris' gaze still lingering on him, even without looking at him. Kris was sizing him up - the way he assesses each and every situation- coldly,   
calculatively. 

Kris didn't say a single word either, opting to remain silent as the silence thicken to a thick clot that has formed inside Tao's throat. It has always been hard to read Kris' mind, whenever he thought he has understood Kris, the other had managed to elude him. 

The painful silence was broken by a bang of a door, revealing Mr. Qing, the producer and Jin Ling, the screenwriter of the drama. Tao immediately rose from his seat out of perfunctory deference and saw Kris doing the same from the edge of his eye. Fake smile is plastered in his eyes as he walk closer and greeted the producer. 

"Mr. Qing, really great to meet you. I am looking forward for our cooperation in this movie." Tao bowed slightly noting that Kris is also echoing his words and also gripping the director's hand for a formal handshake. The usual lip-service required in the industry.

Mr. Qing is an old gentleman who is quite a big name in the industry and he definitely had a lot of connections. He was quite a jolly man, and laughed a lot and looked pleased at their greetings.

"Kris Wu and Huang Zitao. I'm sure the two of you are already well-acquainted with each other." Tao almost winced at the irony of his words, 'Well acquainted, sure.' "When I read the script there are no other actors that immediately popped up in my mind. The two of you are perfect for the characters, and your large CP fanbase wouldn't hurt either. I am sure this will be the greatest movie of the century." He laughed, and Tao and Kris settled into a polite, uncomfortable smiles.

"Let me introduce you to Jin Ling, the screenwriter of this drama, she is a good friend of the author of the novel we are adapting our drama from and she was the one who also strongly recommended you." Jin Ling was a petite young woman in her late twenties with short light brown hair, with a professional suit and an eyeglasses to match, she sure like a competent woman. Tao gave her a soft smile of recognition and a small wave of his hands and Jin Ling smiled friendlily, while Kris was looking at him pointedly. 

Kris, however gained his composure back and immediately greeted the lady as well. "Looking forward to work with you," he said perfunctorily but in a suave manner and the girl's face flushed as he held her hand, and a small uncomfortable feeling nestled in Tao's stomach. There is no need to question Kris' popularity with the women, even during their EXO days, the female staffs had swooned and crooned whenever Kris talked to them. Of course, they were also fond of Tao, but he noticed that most females looked at him with a sort of maternal feeling instead of how they moon over Kris. 

Tao immediately distance himself from them, if the screenwriter is another Kris' fan, this might even be harder than he thought. He tried to ignore the two of them who are now chatting and instead began to ask Mr Qing about the details of the filming. He could still feel Kris' eyeing him from the back, but chooses to ignore it.

Apparently, the filming would take at least three months and that there would still be a female love interest despite it being adapted from a BL drama.

Of course there would be one, Tao thought, fully knowing of China's ban of outright homosexuality. This is part of why Kris was so afraid back then when they had their relationship, Tao might not care about being exposed, but Kris had his mother to think about. The producer also explained that due to the filming's schedule, they will also give the two main leads hotel rooms to stay in during the length of the filming which will take place in Shenzhen. 

A small feeling of disappointment nestled in Tao's chest, that means he would not be able to see Yanlin for three months, and there would be a heightened chance of encountering Kris during those three months. 

xxx

After the discussion ended and everybody had went away, Tao could feel Kris' hand yanking his wrist as he proceeded to go out from the room. He almost yelped in fear before looking at Kris with annoyance, only to find that the other is looking at him with a sad and forlorn expression. 

Tao had always been weak to Kris' sad face, it has always been second nature for him to cheer Kris up and to make him feel better, to hug him and tell him that all the bad things would go away- but that was then. Now, Kris' fingers on his wrist was tight but he could feel it trembling as well - a show of Kris' desperation. 

His look of annoyance melted into something softer - curiosity, maybe. Kris still refused to speak, his lips taut in a tight line. He tried to look at Kris' face to notice the differences since they last broke up, at the lines and contours of his face that Tao is so familiar with- nothing seemed to have changed, except Kris looked somewhat older and more tired. 

"What is it?" His voice came out soft. He even wanted to ask Kris if he is alright, but that would be showing too much care- and Tao cannot afford to care for Kris anymore. 

"Kris?"

"Your hair-" Kris said blandly, "You dyed it blond."

"Y-yeah, I did." Tao said, a bit confused at Kris' attempt for small talk. "Your hair hasn't changed much, it has grown longer a bit." Kris' hair has almost reached his shoulder - where it has only reached the nape on his neck back then. 

Kris was looking at him as if he was trying to memorise Tao's face and his expression and Tao felt the usual heat rushes up to his face. He did not know why but Kris' gaze and presence had always managed to make him feel disoriented and unsettled - like he did not know what to do, it has the magical effect to turn him back to the fumbling 19 years old he once was. 

"Tao.." Kris called his name softly. It was unfair because it dredged up old memories whenever Kris called his name gently. Tao looked at him with a daze before all the ugly memories bubbled up inside up from his memories. All the hurtful words resurfaced like a dam threatening to break through.

'No one will ever love you, Tao. No one can.'

'You can find another guy to fuck you. I sure as hell won't.'

Tao immediately yank off his hand from Kris' grip. Kris' face crumpled - his eyes hurt.

"I'm sorry, Kris." Tao said coldly- all sort of sympathy now dead in his eyes. "Let's keep this professional between us, I have a new boyfriend and I'm quite happy with my life."

Tao did not look back to see Kris' face darkening.


	3. Chapter 3

Needless to say, it is hard to avoid Kris when they are in the same place. His eyes, despite how much he hates, it keeps searching for Kris' figure. 

It was if a magnetic force are tying him together.

Tao wondered if they had met before in the past life, and if they had been tied by a horrible karmic tie. He was reminded of story told by the Buddhist monk in the temple he used to visit with his parents when he was a kid.

The Buddhist monk said that some people have met each other for multiple incarnations, and there were unresolved issues between them which cause them to meet again in the current timeline. The westerners like to call such connections soulmates- and sure enough, from the surface, Tao's and Kris' relationship fits the soulmate description.

They had known each other for such a brief period when they feel more at home with each other than other people. Once Tao met Kris, it feels really hard to imagine what it was like to live in a world without Kris. It was as if Kris was the missing piece to his personality, his guardian and the only one who understand him the most.

But, of course, it has cracked like a thousand pieces. Kris has betrayed him- no, he had told him that it was wrong all along- Kris never betrayed him, because Kris never factored him inside the decision making of his. But, that has hurt like nothing else, during that time- Kris was everything to him, his world and everything he strived to be.

But, Kris never think of him as anything less than a coworker. A friend he does not consider fit to share his worries and troubles to. And Tao- Tao was confused, as if his world has been turned upside down, and everything he knew was blown away. It was dumb of him- stupid of him to think that they would stay in EXO forever, of course, but he truly wished that he can stop the time there and then.

Ironic, because that was the super power assigned to him back in his debut. Perhaps, that too, was caused by fate.

Tao had apologized then, he knew he had hurt Kris deeply when he called him a traitor. Tao had said some unforgivable things, not understanding Kris' circumstances. The truth is he doesn't understand- but that was because Kris never lets him in. Despite his favoritism towards Tao, there was a wall between them both that Kris did not allow him to cross. 

In short, it was like an illusion.

"Tao-," he was immediately thrown off from his reverie when the director called his name. What was he doing really, spacing out in broad daylights?

But, the director is smiling brightly. "Do you know who will play the female lead for the series?"

Tao shakes his head, only to see the director's grin becoming broader. "It's Victoria Song."

"Oh." Tao said.

"Yeah, we only managed to convince her to join this cast when we told her of the cast. She is to play as Kris' fiancée. Kris especially requested her."

"Tao, are you alright?"

Tao was not sure what expression was it that he was making, but the director suddenly looked worried. 

He immediately forced a smile. "Yeah, yeah. Of course, Song jie's great."

"That's good. We casted her because we know that all of you are in good terms. It's nice to have a cast that is already friendly with one another. Makes it easier to build chemistry"

Tao likes Victoria, he really does, she is always like his big sister even back in SM. And she came from Qingdao, like he does.

She is also in good terms with Kris, but the truth is, as much as Tao liked her, he has always felt insecure when he saw Kris with her.

Unlike him, Kris was a bisexual- with more preference towards girls. Kris has dated many girls before, and Tao must admit that Kris and Victoria looked good together, they both are mature, classy and elegant.

Everything that Tao was- is not.

But, Tao shouldn't care, should he? 

After all, he has a boyfriend now. He should not go back to the past where he would compare himself to every girl Kris got close to and felt inadequate after.

No, he would never return to that hell. 

"So, what do you think, Kris?" The director asked Kris, who was coming by. "Victoria has accepted your offer, happily too. I wonder if there are truth in the rumors between the two of you."

It somehow grates Tao to hear Kris' fake and polite laugh, the kind of laugh he used when he placates people, especially the higher-ups.

"Victoria and I are good friends only, director. Please don't create more room for gossips, the last thing I need is another scandal," Kris said flippantly.

For some reason, he was looking at Tao when he said that. As if he was challenging him. 

"They suit each other, though." Tao said, faking a smile, and feeling Kris' glare on him. "I can imagine their fans shipping them like crazy."

The director laughed, and Kris was looking at him with an inscrutably dark expression. 

"Kris is really good at acting, after all." Tao said. Even he can taste the acidity in his words, the bitterness laced inside it. But, he cannot stop, not when Kris is egging him on. 

"I'm sure that the girls would ship them both and make your movie popular, director. You don't even need me."

"That won't do, Tao." The director said cheerfully, oblivious to Tao's mood. "Let me tell you, girls in these generation, for reasons we old men couldn't comprehend likes forbidden, homoerotic love. So, you and Kris would still be our main CP."

"Oh, and Victoria won't be romancing Kris. She will be romancing you."

Tao looked at the director, immediately confused. "But, she's Kris' fiancée right?"

"Yes, but the one she likes is you. And that's what started the plot. Kris' character, who is in love in Victoria's, was horrified when she rejected marrying him because of you, who had charmed her senseless. That is when he started to plot his revenge against you, only to find himself captivated by you himself."

"Of course, the tension will be enough to drive the fangirls crazy. All the hatred turned into tumultuous love. The screenwriter is a genius, really."

"But, as you already know, we would not showcase it so blatantly as love. But as a platonic, tumultuous and passionate friendship. Which I'm sure the two of you already possess in real life."

"That was my reason to cast the two of you, really. I'm sure given your complex history, you would be able to capture the nuances and the feelings of the characters."

Is the director referring to the drama between them after Kris left EXO? 

It has been a disaster, really. Tao had said things he had never meant before, and he was stuck on national TV apologizing to Kris, only to be responded coldly by Kris.

Tumultuous feelings, sure.

Yet, he didn't want to be reminded of the history behind them, so Tao just smiled- hopefully a polite smile and excused himself from the conversation. 

xxx

On his way out from the room, Kris was trailing behind him, but he cannot confront him- not when he is heading to the bathroom. Kris could have easily said that he was going to the bathroom himself and Tao should not be that self-conscious about it. And Tao would be the one who ended up feeling embarrassed. 

Kris always play this kind of games, incite Tao and insist that Tao was the one who started it.

He decided to ignore Kris- Tao would not be egged on again.

And despite himself, it is still good to have company to go to the bathroom. 

Despite it being Kris. Even Kris would be better company than the ghosts he might see in the mirrors. 

People think that Tao is always exaggerating with his fear of ghosts, but people wouldn't understand what it felt like, not when they had never been choked by a ghost when they sleep.

When Tao was young, his mother used to tell him that it's just his imagination and hug him to sleep, but when they do not disappear when he grew up, they had brought him to a monk.

The monk has given him bracelets to ward off evil spirits, and for some time, Tao has been placated because it has stopped them from appearing. Until he started seeing them again. Stronger ones, ones with stronger malevolence. 

But, he saw them in his dreams, and sometimes when he is alone.

Kris was also silent as he trails behind him, like a shadow.

Then a horrible, irrational thought seized him, what if it is not Kris who is behind him but a ghost?

No, don't be silly, Zitao. You would know Kris' presence by a mile. 

Yet, the seed of doubt, once planted, keeps on gnawing him. Kris' silence now felt like a horrible pressure- sucking the air around him.

"K-Kris?" He braved himself to ask, ready to bolt if his suspicions were real. They're in the urinals now.

Kris looked surprised when Tao called him, as though he was convinced that Tao would ignore him.

"You- you're Kris, right?"

Kris looked confused now, his eyebrow furrowing as if he was wondering if Tao has knocked his head somewhere. For a moment, the earlier tension between them was gone, not when Tao has his own instinctual fears to confirm.

"Who else would I be?" 

"C-can I please confirm?"

Kris nodded. 

"What is Baekhyun's surname?" Tao was thoroughly convinced that a ghost in China wouldn't know about Baekhyun. 

"Park." Kris answered in a deadpanned manner, his eyes every bit dark and empty and Tao felt his stomach sink in horror. 

As if on instinct, he was about to run away, but Kris overpowered him in an instant and pinned him against the wall. 

Immediately, Tao's head felt blank, is the ghost going to eat him just like this?

He could feel the hot tears on his eye, but all he felt was a soft hand on his cheek.

"P-please don't. I-I'm not tasty at- at all…"

Surprised, he opened his eyes, only to see Kris… smiling?! He looked as if he was struggling not to break into laughter.

In seconds, Kris had doubled in laughter before him, almost kneeling on him. While Tao is simply speechless.

Thank god he didn't pee his pants due to his fear.

"What the fuck, Kris?!" Tao demanded in his outrage, he refused to find humor in the situation.

"I'm sorry - Tao. I couldn't believe, you're- you're still so silly." Kris managed to say in between his broken laughter.

Anger boiled in him. He can't believe Kris would pull such a nasty prank to him. 

As he was about to open his mouth to curse Kris further, Kris pulled his hand down and enveloped them both in a hug- rendering Tao speechless. He had finished laughing yet his trembling didn't stop.

"Am sorry." Kris whispered low in his ears. "I miss you, Tao, I really do." 

Now, Tao is at loss as to what to do. A part of him want to reject Kris, but another part of him wanted to hug Kris back. To tell Kris that he misses him too. 

As his brain was racking up options as to how to respond to the hug, Kris' hug on him tightens, he buried his face in Tao's chest, inhaling his scent and Tao lets him. This all feels so familiar, Kris' embrace has always felt like home- so warm and so affirming.

Yet, so very wrong- Tao thought. 

"Kris, we cannot do this." He said, but it didn't sound nearly as cold as he intended it to be. There was no bite in his words, and he knew Kris noticed it too, because he didn't look up to Tao as he said that.

Tao sighed. "Kris, we’re at the age where we shouldn't play these kind of mind games anymore."

Frankly, Tao is tired of the push and pull game they have entered. At how toxic their relationship has become. As much as he loves Kris, there's a limit to how much pain he can endure. 

Suddenly, Kris was looking up at him. And Tao realized that Kris is tired too- he can see the eyebags beneath Kris' eyes, he wondered if Kris has been sleeping well. His age lines are becoming visible, they are growing older.

They stared in what seemed like an eternity until Kris broke the silence- looking extremely serious.

"Then tell me this, Tao. Do you hate me? If you truly hate me from the bottom of your heart, then that's it. I promise I'll disappear and I will never show myself in front of you again."

When he heard Kris' words, a lump of rage threatened to form in Tao's throat. He could feel all the heat going up on his head. It's just like Kris to say that, trap Tao to saying all the mean things. He knew that Tao would succumb, and they would end up in the endless game of guilt.

Tao has honestly had enough.

"You're always very fucking unfair, Kris." Tao yelled, and he could feel his eyes getting hotter. "Do you think it's that simple? I hate you and I wish you gone from my life, and that's it?!"

Kris remained silent, he always does when Tao lashed out. Tao wished he would say something, anything. But, he didn't, he never did.

"I wish it was that simple. If it were so simple, I would have left you the first time you left me and never look back. But, I was so dumb, wasn't I? I came back to you like a dog and begged for your forgiveness, and we were back to normal. But, something cracked even back then, Kris."

"We-we can't go back the way we were before- not when nothing between us were ever resolved! And you know that question is unfair- that I could never hate you-"

"But, that doesn't matter - we cannot go back together and that's final!" With that, Tao immediately broke free from Kris' hands and proceeded to leave the bathroom and ran away to the discussion room.


End file.
